Seems so ironic that I’d be laid off now. I know I am not being punished by God or anything. It just seems like if I were to be laid off, it should have been when I was most selfish. When I first started to work at Nortel I was not very much involved at church. Basically I did the audio/visual ministry and that was pretty much it. Now I am so involved in church….Sunday school teacher….devotional speaker….etc. It seems like if there was a time for me to be laid off it would be when I was not very involved, instead of now when I am involved. Luck of the draw I guess. It is that mentality of thinking that I should be rewarded when I get involved at church and punished when I am not as involved. God doesn’t work that way. Maybe this whole job situation will lead to bigger and better things.
Today’s session at the job consulting firm was ok. Some of the stuff we discussed was painfully obvious, while later on it provided some good idea to look for jobs. I’ve got to do a 4 hour long personality test tonight.
What am I going to do?
It just takes getting my resume in the hands of the right person. I am concentrating on networking (i.e. giving resumes to people I know) rather than going down through the want ads in the paper. I never got anywhere using the want ad method.
I know you’re going to get tired of reading all about my job woes. But it is a high priority on my mind right now, so it is pretty much all I’m going to be writing about.
The dumbest reaction I’ve had lately is this. When I tell people I’ve been laid off, they say “What are you going to do?” What a dumb question. Let’s see….I think I’ll become homeless…..or maybe just give up and never get a job again. I just tell them “I’ll look for a job.” Hello? Isn’t that answer a bit obvious? Unless I was planning to go back to school to get my MBA….
Camp Reunion
Just got back from the camp reunion at Corinth in Portland. Franklin did a great job putting together a video with the home video and digital pictures I took at camp. I am going to have to figure out how to do that type of video editing.
More than anything else I’d like to find a job and have enough vacation time to do camp this summer. Ideally I need to find a job now in order to build up enough time to take off. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a flexible schedule to where I’ll be able to go…or borrow against my vacation time. Argh! It is stressing me out. I need to not worry about it. God is going to take care of me. However I am the type of person to have my entire year planned out. Not knowing what I’ll be doing next month or next week is wearing on my nerves.
“Stand Back” said the Elephant “I’m going to sneeze!”
I visited my sister’s kindergarten class today. It seemed as if they played on the playground all day. For example when I arrived, they were on the playground, then went to lunch, came back for a math lesson and having a story read to them. Then back to the playground again. Kindergarten must be a breeze.
My sister has 25 kids in the class. She does have an aid, but I can understand how all these kids can provide for exhaustion by the end of the day. Kindergarteners need special attention….like 4 bathroom breaks per day, someone to tie their shoe, etc…. But they are sweet kids and are anxious to learn.
I read the book “Stand Back” said the Elephant “I’m going to Sneeze!” to the kids…a personal childhood favorite of mine. The illustrations are hilarious. The kids seemed to enjoy it too.
Friday Five
1. What was/is your favorite subject in school? Why?
Social Studies during elementary years. “Social Studies” sorta encompassed history, geography, socialogy, current events and a bunch of other related subjects. I guess I was always interested in this type of stuff. Maps were interesting. I participated in the first Tennessee Geography Bee competition in the 8th grade.
History was a favorite subject in high school years. More than any other class, AP History really prepared me for college courses. I never got any college credit from taking the AP test, but it was a good class nonetheless.
2. Who was your favorite teacher? Why?
Mrs. Britnell, my 4th grade teacher. More than any other teacher she truly loved her students and was concerned about their well being. She built up my self esteem and helped me feel good about myself. She was bold enough to do devotional every morning (this was a public school).
To some extent Mrs. Graham, my 1st grade teacher, was an outstanding teacher also. She was a grandmotherly type teacher. I loved her. However I don’t remember too much about her.
Mrs. Ash was a great teacher during my high school years. She taught AP History and Psychology. She was a good teacher….fair to all of her students.
3. What is your favorite memory of school?
I have lots of favorite memories. Lunch room discussions among friends…..playing on the playground….making life long friends. I don’t know if I have a specific memory in mind. Maybe I’ll think of one later.
4. What was your favorite recess game?
One time they got out a huge ball and we sat down on the gym floor and tossed it around. This was a HUGE ball…it could fill a walk-in closet. That was fun.
I never really liked P.E. I wasn’t good in sports. Usually chosen last.
In 4th grade we never really went out on the playground. Instead we would go to the front lawn of the school and play kickball on the concrete. I didn’t like kick because I was never any good at it. The kids who could kick the ball the farthest seemed to get alot of the attention
5. What did you hate most about school?
How kids could be cruel to each other. Obnoxiousness of people in junior high years. I was considered a nerd since I didn’t say too much and seemed to make good grades. Other kids resented that and tended to pick on me. I absolutely hated my 7th grade history class. There were so many kids in there acting up I couldn’t learn at all. That one class sticks out in my mind as being one of the worst classes ever simply because I hated being in there.
I have no job
Reality has set in. I have no job. Well actually I still getting paid for the next 60 days, but my days at Nortel will be gradually drawing to a close. What went wrong? Was it due to my manager not having a clue as to what I did? Was I not kissing up enough? Could I not market myself….make myself look good? Who knows.
It’s a good opportunity for me to move on. I’m going to take a long look at my life and see where I want to go from here. Who knows? Maybe I’ll switch careers. I usually come back from church camp wanting to be a youth minister. Maybe I should do that. But then again the salary for youth ministry is just not there, so I’ll probably just nix that idea. All I want is a job that is fulfilling and gives me time off during the summer. Probably something having to do with computers since I am familiar with that type of field.
I meant to post this list yesterday, but between being laid off and the 9/11 anniversary I forgot….
Songs that remind me of September 11th:
- “Land of Confusion” – Genesis….Someone really needs to remake this song. I know it was done during the 80s when Reagan was in office. Who could forget the video with the puppets depecting world leaders?
- “Head Like a Hole” – Nine Inch Nails This should definitely be the offical song of the war on terrorism. Lyrics like “Bow down to the one you serve…. You’re going to get what you deserve…” remind me of those Islamic Extremists who say “Praise Allah” each time a terrorist attack happens.
- “New York, New York” – Ryan Adams The video for this song was filmed on September 7th with the World Trade Center featured promenently in the background.
- “I Won’t Back Down” – Tom Petty Petty sang this at the Concert for America. Seemed like the lyrics to the song was a rallying cry for us.
- “In America” – Charlie Daniels They played this song on the radio the next morning on September 12th, 2001. I know that it was probably meant for the Iranian hostage crisis. But the lyrics are just a true as it was then as it is today.
Yes, I do listen to a wide diversity of music. Everything from Nine Inch Nails to Charlie Daniels…..
One year ago
One year ago today 3,025 people lost their lives in a terrorist attack on the US. Today I lost my job. But somehow I realize that my loss is so small compared to the victims of September 11th, 2001. Tonight we had a special prayer service at church. During that service I realized God has truly blessed us. Blessed us with a strong military, strong leadership, and strong people. We survived to live another year.
This year changed me. Somehow I am always looking over my shoulder, always checking out the current news to see if anything has happened. For a few weeks afterwards I had trouble sleeping. I believed there was a good chance of me getting drafted. I will never look at an airplane or a tall building the same way again.
So I got laid off today. I’ll be formally told about it with a meeting at HR tomorrow. I won’t use the sour grapes scenerio. I liked my job. I liked working from home for one year. I enjoyed the business trips to Boone, North Carolina, Reno, and Ottawa. I enjoyed what I did. I felt like I made a difference. But like all good things, it must come to an end. Somehow I knew things were going downhill when I got the feeling my new manager didn’t have a clue as to what I did.
So I’ll have some free time on my hands while I look for a job. We’ll see what happens…..
Last Stand in Open Country
Who knew Willie Nelson rocked? I recently heard Willie Nelson’s song “Last Stand in Open Country.” It’s a nice anthem….and a duet with Kid Rock. They could have taken Kid Rock out of it and made it ten times better. His voice is too scratchy. You never would have heard this played on Top 40 Country. It’s not trendy enough. According to some people, Willie is past his prime. Thank goodness for Lightning 100 radio. I never would have heard this song without hearing it there.
While browsing the web, I found this picture of a July 4th parade float. I thought it was inappropriate to recreate a scene in which thousands of people were killed. It would have been more appropriate to have a painting or something. Just don’t use toy airplanes and model buildings
I recently downloaded the entire Howard Stern show from September 11th, 2001. 297 minutes worth. It’s very weird listening to it. Almost like reliving the whole morning in real time.
Yassir kinda looks like that Old Navy Lady when he wears glasses.
This Weblog
At times I feel obligated to write something in this weblog everyday…even though the daily entry can be dull, bleak, obscure or dim at times. I do keep track of other people’s weblogs. Many of them are updated maybe once a month and are definitely dull themselves. Has this weblog helped me? At times, yes. Sometimes it is good to get thoughts out on paper. Other times it is good to look back on times and try to decipher what I was thinking. Used to I would compose these epic emails to friends which would be a prototype of these journal entries. I needed to express my views. And friends with email was my outlet at the time. This weblog is now my outlet. Read as long as you are interested. Stop reading when this weblog has become worn out like an old cliche.
Does the world need to know? Not necessarily. Has this weblog helped you? Maybe if you are a friend or aquaintance it has helped you understand me more…as far as what drives me….what irritates me….what I’m concerned about. I put no fake facade on this. No false feelings. No feelings trying to make you think more postive of me. What you see is what you get. Then again some negative thoughts I do try to keep to myself. There is no need to express deep disguist at something or someone specific and post it here. That would be counterproductive.
I don’t consider myself a writer. I never have and I don’t now. For me English class was for the express purpose of telling the teacher what he/she wanted to hear. I never really expressed my deep down personal views on something. Never had a reason to. Never took a stance on something. To me, all books are boring. For the most part, I still feel that way. Fictional stories are not my thing. I’d rather read current events and discuss them.
I would like to find out what Wednesday night’s Bible school lesson is about. I have yet to get the book from our head teacher. I guess if he expects me to teach it, I should get a booklet. Otherwise I’ll continue to be a fly on the wall during class. Right now they’ve got me putting together a class directory…which means taking pictures and getting short biographies from the kids. I guess they think I’m good with computers and/or digital cameras. It just seems like excess paperwork for me.
I’ve been told 5 or 6 people out of our small organization of 53 people will be laid off. I still don’t know if I’ll be effected. I hate not knowing. I guess I should know something within the next few weeks. We’ll see…
On a side note, I watched Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien speak on TV today. If leaders were elected only on speaking ability, he would have never gotten elected. At times I could not understand him through his thick accent. I could probably speak better French than English.
Vandy’s Win
Here’s a conversation I had with my dad in regards to Vandy’s win yesterday
Dad: Vandy won – 49 to 18.
Me: Who’d they play?
Dad: Furman
Me: Furman? Who’s that?
Dad: A girls’ school
Me: No, it’s a blind girls’ school.
Apologies to Furman students and blind girls.
I have heard 2 songs from the upcoming Wallflowers’ CD “Red Letter Days.” It sounds like they’re more electric than their last 2 albums. Hopefully radio stations will notice and start playing good music instead of this lame slickly produced teenie bop music.
So a friend of mine, who is a cameraman for Channel 5 (local CBS affliate), asked me for comments about the station. He will be part of a focus group which makes changes to the station. I told him CBS needs to bring back The Dukes of Hazzard. It’s been downhill ever since they cancelled that show.
They really need to move Entertainment Tonight to after The Craig Kilborn Show. No one watches ET anyways. It is just a bunch of fluff. Have Craig immediately after Letterman.
I’m afraid I’ve already gotten tired of the September 11th anniversary specials. The History Channel has been airing 9/11 documentaries. Tivo taped all of them last week. So all of my interest in September 11th has already come and gone. I believe all of the networks are airing all day/night programming having to do with the Terrorist attacks on September 11th this week. If I wanted to watch September 11th coverage, I’ll switch to MSNBC or CNN. If I want to sorta move away from the anniversary I should be able to watch regular programming on the broadcast channels. Leave all day news coverage to where they belong – all news channels.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth died one year ago today. I almost sent her parents a “thinking of you” card, but I didn’t. Wasn’t sure what to say. As always I try to avoid awkward situations. I didn’t know Elizabeth very well. I only knew her briefly. Elizabeth was here for some reason. If it was give her friends a Christian example, to make them live more righteous lives, then so be it. Somehow I think some of the kids in Scottsville are balancing on the fence, trying to be in the world, while at the same time fooling their parents into thinking they’re angels. At times I don’t know how they’ll turn out. Maybe they’ll remember Elizabeth’s example when the time comes.
You’ll notice Elizabeth’s picture was reduced 35% on the front page. Somehow I think it might be time to move on. Elizabeth wouldn’t have wanted us constantly reminded of death. Rather we should live for life. Live each day as a gift from God. Time to move on and look toward the future.
“Seven countries, 25 days and 15 pounds of uranium and not a single question.”